


Jealous of him (I'll never be him)

by heygirlimhyperfixating (sapphicrystal)



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, inspired by the song Jealous by Labrinth, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:47:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicrystal/pseuds/heygirlimhyperfixating
Summary: Even after their breakup, Evie still holds a kindling  flame of administration towards Mal.Mal has long since moved on.
Relationships: Ben/Mal (Disney: Descendants), Evie/Mal (Disney)
Kudos: 29





	Jealous of him (I'll never be him)

**Author's Note:**

> Henlo, I am back :D
> 
> I've had writers blocks for while now, and (I sincerely hope) it's finally over.
> 
> Also it's frigging 1am, this is probably half-assed so I'll be checking it again when I wake up.

**_I’m jealous of the rain_ **

**_That falls upon your skin_ **

Blue eyelashes flutter shut, a sigh evaporates from crimson lips while a head of sapphire slowly tilts back.

She can’t bare to sit peacefully while they are engaging in the things couples do.

Oh, couples.

 _They_ were once a couple. Right?

Black heels fall onto green grass below and slowly starts walking.

She hopes her once-upon-a-time-lover at least senses that she is leaving, but no, she doesn’t.

**_It’s closer than my hands have be_ en**

**_I’m jealous of the rain_ **

She starts to reminisce on how close yet far apart they were. How Mal constantly had somewhere to be other than by her girlfriend’s side.

_“Hey, M. Wanna watch a movie tonight?” Evie asked one night as she wrapped an arm around Ma_ _l._

_“Can’t; Ben called me to come over and study.” The answer Evie received was beyond distant and to top it off, Mal had removed Evie’s arm from her and went to the door._

_Evie tried to seem normal, tried to hold back the tears._

_“But couldn’t we just study together? We don’t have to watch a movie.”_

_“Sorry, E. I promised I’d do it with him.”_

_Mal left. And Evie once again felt lonely._

**_I’m jealous of the wi_ nd**

**_That ripples through your clothes_**

She reaches her dorm room in no time. She goes into the bathroom. Takes a few moments to stare at her reflection.

_My face is hideous._

She undresses herself then steps into the shower. Turns it on. Sulks down to the floor and her eyes are closed.

How’d she get here? How’d she lose at love? Guess her mother was right; she should have taken a prince instead. But even then, would she be happier?

**_It’s closer than your shadow_ **

**_Oh, I’m jealous of the wind_ **

She’s jealous of every little thing that comes Mal’s direction. She’s jealous of the rain and how it beautifully falls upon Mal’s pale skin. How it allows her skin to shine, to glisten in eternal glow. She’s jealous of the wind that cutely dishevels Mal’s lilac hair.

She’s jealous of the guy who’s most probably kissing _her_ girl right now.

_**‘Cause I wished you the best of** _

**_All this world could give_ **

She remembers the first time they said I love you.

It was one October night. The sound of rain clattering onto the window and the rooftop somehow made both girls feel at ease.

_“E?”_

_“Yes, babe?”_

_“Do you think we could dance?”_

_“Now?”_

_Mal nods._

_“Of course,” says Evie._

_Mal grinned, and she blushed madly._

_“Okay ... But not here, though.”_

_“Then ... where?”_

_“Outside.”_

_“ ... Yeah.” The word is breathed ou_ _t._

_Just a simple conversation and Evie knew that she would walk through a blizzard for this girl. Her lover._

And after that they danced in pools of wet rain and got sick and confessed.

_“E?”_

_“Mmm_ _?”_

_Evie nuzzled into Mal’s nec_ _k._

_“I love you_.”

_A head of blue is raised._

_Brown eyes dilated_. 

_And ruby lips met full pink ones_ _._

_This time, they kissed like true lovers. But it wasn’t anything dirty. It was as if they were pouring all the love in the world into the essence of each other._

_“I love you, too.”_

_And their foreheads rested atop each others._

_(Little did Evie know, that love wasn’t truly there.)_

Her ears perk at the door opening and she immediately knows who it is.

“Evie, I'm back,” the taut voice of Mal is heard. Her voice wasn't always like that, though.

**_And I told you when you left me_ **

**_There’s nothing to forgive_ **

It only began to sound that way days before they broke up. Before, Mal’s voice was always soft and a caress to Evie’s ears.

_“Why can’t you talk to me?!” Evie yelled one day._

_“I don’t know, okay?” Mal kept her voice low. She knew it was her fault that they had gotten into this situation._

_“No, Mal; you do know. Just let me know how you feel_ _.”_

_Evie looked around the room and she saw the items belonging to their room scattered about._

_Then she realized that she was right about everything._

_“You don't love me anymore, is that it?” Her voice was strained._

_“No, Evie. I- I just—_ _”_

_Salty tears poured out of the eyes of a girl who once thought she had true love._

_“It’s not your fault. I was too dumb to understand that love does not last. I’m sorry you had to pretend to love me all this time. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you_.”

_Mal didn’t know what to say. So she walked over and grabbed Evie by the hips and connected their lips in one final kiss._

_The kiss lingered for mere moments before Evie slowly pulled away. She remembered their argument from earlier; Ben called Mal to study again._

_“You should go,” Evie mumbled against her lips, stroking her cheek with her thumb. “You shouldn’t leave your king awaiting.”_

_And as if Mal didn’t care (or maybe she did, Evie couldn’t say), she mutters,_

_“I’m sorry I broke your heart, E.” And then she left to her awaiting king. Leaving her queen in the process._

The faint knock on the bathroom door has her dazing out from the memory.

“Evie? Are you in here?” Mal asks, her voice less taut as it had been.

“Y-yeah. I am. I’m almost done.”

“No, you don’t have to be in a hurry; I was just wondering where you were, that’s all.”

Evie doesn't pay heed to that and finishes her shower in a about ten minutes. She comes out the bathroom in only a towel wrapped around her. Evie doesn't see the way Mal’s eyes stay upon her.

_**But I always thought you’d come back, tell me all you found was** _

**_Heartbreak and misery_ **

They don’t speak for the rest of the afternoon. Mal just watches as Evie sews a few dresses.

Evie’s sewing skills had been a bit sloppy for the past few weeks, for obvious reasons.

_“No, we couldn’t have actually broken up, right?” she muttered as her swollen eyes was blankly looking up at the ceiling._

_“She’s gonna come back and tell me how he shattered her. She’ll come back to me. I know it_ _.”_

_Unfortunately, she was proved wrong when Mal burst through the door, her grin noticeable from miles away._

_“Hey, Evie. I wanted to come earlier, but Ben took me to the Enchanted Lake after studying_ _.”_

_Evie sat up and painfully attempted to smile, even if it was small._

_“Yeah, um, that’s great, Mal,” she said through gritted teeth._

_Mal didn’t seem to notice puffy eyes gazing at her. And Evie assumed that, once again, she didn’t care._

**_It’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way_ **

**_You’re happy without me_ **

Mal was better off without Evie. It was hard to digest, but Evie just had to — for the sake of herself and Mal’s happiness.

“... Evie?”

“Hm?” She stops her sewing, turning around and looking at Mal.

“Why’d you leave the field?” Mal asks, curiosity in her voice.

“Um, cheerleading had me exhausted so I just took a quick shower.” She shifts her gaze downward — to the floor.

“Oh, okay.”

Mal starts drawing. What it is, it’s up to Evie to wonder.

**_I’m jealous of the nights_ **

**_That I don't spend with you_ **

Some evenings, Evie would stay up and think about what Mal is doing. Where she is, who she’s with — so, so many questions bubble in her mind.

 _**I’m wondering who you lay next t** _ _**o** _

**_Oh, I’m jealous of the nights_ **

Evie certainly knows that Mal is laying beside King Ben. Curled in his arms and resting her head in the curve of his chest.

Evie knows this — she wishes she didn't.

And when Mal arrives in the early a.m. of the morning after, that spark of envy towards Ben turns into a flame of hatred.

She ignores it.

_(After all, no one should hate the king.)_

**_I'm jealous of the lo_** **_ve_ **

**_Love that was in here_**

_We were once inseparable ... Right?_ Evie thinks as she gazes out the window. She catches a glimpse of Jay and Carlos playing with Dude. Lonnie and Jane grinning as they talk with each other. Audrey fixing her makeup.

Mal and Ben staring lovingly in the eyes of one another. 

_We used to be that way._ Call it selfish, but Evie craves Mal's attention right now. Craves Mal's assuring touches, her delicate kisses.

_(Evie doesn't admit to herself that what she craves more is simply Mal's presence.)_

_**Gone for someone else to share** _

_**Oh, I'm jealous of the love** _

Evie's jaw clenches. He has that love now. Not her, him.

Evie steps away from the windowsill, not being able to witness any more.

* * *

"... Evie." Mal lightly pats Evie's back.

In an instant, Evie drops what she is working on and turns in her chair to face Mal. Mal stoops to Evie's eye-level.

"What's up?" asks Evie.

Mal brings forth her hands, willing her fingers to stroke Evie's cheek.

Evie refrains from humming her consent and fluttering her eyes closed.

Instead, she lowers Mal's hand with her own. Meets Mal's intense gaze and furrows her brows.

"M, what did you want to tell me?" Her brows unfurrow.

"Evie, please don't play dumb. These past few days you've been avoiding me," Mal starts, she's careful on the tone of her voice.

"I don't understand. Have I?" _I have_.

"Yes, and I just want you to tell me what's going on." Mal tightens her grip on Evie's hands. "... Is it me?" she whispers.

Mal rises to a standing position when Evie does not answer. "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

"No, M, it's not you ... it's just ... this whole situation," Evie finally replies, her voice down an octave. Evie lifts from her chair.

**_As I sink in the sand_**

"Elaborate?" Mal folds her arms over her chest.

"... You and Ben." Evie casts her gaze anywhere but Mal's.

**_Watch you slip through my hands_ **

"Wait, E ... Are you jealous? Of Him and I?" Mal's voice snaps. It's no longer a caress, rather sword piercing Evie's skin.

**_Oh, as I die here another day, yeah_ **

"Evie, you're my best friend. You of all people should be happy for me." Mal deeply frowns.

Evie strides to their door, her fingers gracing the handle. "I am." _And I'm in love with you._ "You and Ben are perfect together." _I wish it was me in place of him._

With a faux smile worth a dozen medals, Evie leaves the dorm.

_(Princesses don't sob. Or, at least, they never show it.)_

**_'Cause all I do is cry behind this smile_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again, if you'd like to talk to me/anything else you can come and find me over at tumblr. My handle is @/yourerlygay :]


End file.
